Thursday, August 20, 2009

A quick email to a couple of close friends - me venting

I just talked to my dad (he's still in the nursing home for rehab). Camille had just brought him back from his doctor appointment to have his leg looked at (his knee really). He has not been able to straighten his leg since he had his knee replacement a year or so ago. His rehab therapists have tried and tried to loosen the muscles behind his knee without success and it has caused dad a great deal of pain. Well, while at his doctor today they put his leg back in a full leg cast... ankle to hip. Every week for the next few weeks he will be going back for new casts, each cast will be straighter than the last in hopes to get his leg to straighten. He is in extreme pain because of this. He also has to stay in the nursing home for the duration of this 'treatment'. He has not been home, not even once, since July 16 or 17.

And just so you know, he is filling out the admitting paper work for mom to get her name on the list for the memory wing of the same nursing home. The trauma that she is experiencing from dad not being at home has really made her dementia advance her memory loss and confusion. It is nearly impossible for her to remember that dad has even had surgery and she gets so mad at him all the time for not telling her that he had surgery. She is in tears a lot of the time and feels so lost, confused, and afraid because she is still (somewhat) aware that she is losing her mind. My poor parents... I could have never imagined that it would come to this. I always believed that dad would take care of mom at home (before she developed dementia) until the day she died. And now I fear that my dad may end up never leaving the nursing home - so many set-backs.

I try not to talk much about all of this with you or anyone else because I don't want any of you or anyone else to dread hearing from me... but this time I really needed to vent. So thanks for reading.

Love, Anne