Friday, December 28, 2007

"If you lead your life the right way the karma will take care of itself... the dreams will come to you." ~Randy Pausch

I saw this man, Randy Pausch, on the Oprah show a month or so ago. He is dying from pancreatic cancer, however, he looks to be in perfect health. He gave this amazing lecture at Carnagie-Mellon University back in September... his "last lecture". I'm posting this video clip and interview with Diane Sawyer because in some ways this man is living his life; what is left of it; to his fullest. He reminds me that this is what my mother has been doing for the past 30 years when doctors told her she wouldn't live to the age of 42. Watch the video, it's wonderful. He is so wise. Let me know what you think.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Guilt, Exhaustion, Frustration, and Excitement - Christmas is coming!

I went to my support group meeting last night (Wed. 12/12). Dad and Aunt Margaret were already there when I arrived and I was about 10 minutes early. I missed the past two meetings... I forgot about it last month, then the one before that David was out of town and I didn't have anyone to watch the kids.

I didn't really feel like much was accomplished in last nights meeting. The moderator was about 25 minutes late. We started the meeting without our moderator, there was one new woman there who had just admitted her mother into the memory wing 2 weeks prior so we all had to introduce ourselves to her and state why we were there and it ended up taking the entire hour so we didn't really get to learn anything new about each of our situations.

I did learn, though, that my parents are having a really good "spell" right now. Dad said that he and Mom will sleep in late, piddle around the house, go back to nap some, get up and go bop around town a little, go back home and nap some more... they seem to be spending a lot of good quality time together which makes me very happy. My parents really need some good QT.

When it came to my time to speak during the meeting I started to tear up a bit and get that painful lump in my throat (not sure why). I mentioned that I had begun to distance myself from my parents a little for reasons that I'm not even sure of. I think I am just exhausted physically from taking care of my own household and kids... mentally worn out for the same reasons AND having the worry of having a sick mother as well as the worry of the well-being of Dad who is the caregiver. I don't really know but I need to get my butt into gear. I talked to Dad about it a little after the meeting and I started to tear up again. I DO feel guilty about it, I feel like I should be doing so much more, I'm just not sure what to do. I worry that my kids are exhausting to my parents, I get too stressed out when I take my kids to their house because I KNOW that my kids are exhausting. They run amuck when we are there! Therefore I don't take my kids over. Now I'm just babbling on and on..... blah blah blah.

I'm getting excited about Christmas this year. It has become my favorite holiday again because of my kids. I LOVE watching their excitement and enthusiasm in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Then there is Christmas morning which is indescribable. Those of you with children know what I mean. Now I know how my parents felt when my sister and I were kids. This year will be great in another way in that we get to spend Christmas evening with my side of the family at my sister's house. This means a ton to me. I really love going to my in-laws but, for me, there is nothing more special than being with your own family. I think it'll be great. Our family has such a warped sense of humor... we run around shooting each other with Nerf guns, screaming and yelling; reciting lines from our favorite movies; tell really bad jokes; reminisce about the past and talk about all kinds of things that others might consider taboo. I don't know... we are all a bunch of goofballs, we can all be kids again when we are together. I have such warm fuzzy feelings when we are all together.

I love my family so much... my whole family!


Thursday, December 6, 2007

Bromley Girl's get together for Christmas...

All of us women of the family got together for our annual Christmas... uh... get together. This year we did dinner and wine tasting at my Aunt Margaret's new condo. A good time was had by all.