The Blue Velvet Drape: Dealing with Dementia

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May 04, 2011

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Really sad for my Dad.

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Secret Admirer for a Lifetime

Monday February 15, 2021 I woke up to my alarm Wednesday morning, February 3, 2021 to get ready for another day of working at home thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic. Everyday when I wake the first things I do are take my thyroid meds, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, brush my hair, put on my robe and head down to the kitchen to have coffee with my husband, David. I always check my social media platforms while sipping my coffee and then, if I remember, check my personal email if I see any interesting pop-up notifications. One pop-up caught my eye as it had Mom's name in the subject heading "Marilyn Bromley". A gentleman by the name of Carl Wieck is who sent the email about Mom. Carl, originally born in Louisville now lives in Finland but it turns out he knew Mom when they both were elementary age children at George Rogers Clark Elementary School. Carl had gone to school with my mom from elementary school all the way through high school and even some college (Clark Elem...

Mom's voice

The other day I was fortunate enough to find a voicemail on my cell phone from Mom that had not been automatically deleted from my voicemail box. It has since been deleted. David and I could not figure out a way to save the message so he recorded the message onto his cell phone by using the video camera (which is why there is an empty chair). All I cared about was the audio. Now I will always have this cute little soundbyte of my mom's voice. In this message Mom sounds like "Mom" and not "Mom with dementia". ((The message was dated April 17, 2012.))

Why Am I Different?

I've read blogs written by strangers, blogs they have written about their loved one with alzheimers or dementia. Their writings talk of having more love, feeling more love, feeling that their loved one is their hero, a whole new admiration for their loved one with dementia. I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes because these writings move me. But mostly I get the lump in my throat and the tears in my eyes because I DON'T feel that way about my mother. Why am I different than the strangers whose writings I read? I don't feel more love or that my mother is my hero (at least not in the way the 'strangers' write); what I feel is sadness, anger, frustration, resentment, guilt, hopelessness, dismay, annoyed. Everything I'm feeling is negative. I've gotten to a point where I don't want to talk to my mom on the phone and I don't want to see her very often. Why do I feel this way? I know it isn't because I don't love my mother any le...

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