Sunday, August 5, 2012

"Because the end of life is part of living"

I took Mom out for ice cream Wednesday afternoon. She loved every bite of her scoop of chocolaty goodness. Little did I know that that outing would be my last with her.

Mom was admitted into the Hospice wing of a hospital downtown the very next day, Thursday. On Friday the doctor turned off her defibrilator.

Here I type on Sunday to report that, although a doctor hasn't seen Mom since Friday to tell us this, all of the Hospice nurses say they recognize the "end of life" symptoms Mom is having and consider her terminal.

Funeral arrangements are being discussed, still so much to do while we wait for the inevitable.

I am so sad. I am relieved, however, that soon Mom will no longer be in pain, will no longer be living in a constant state of fear and confusion.

On Wednesday afternoon I after I brought Mom home from having her ice cream treat I had to help her to bed; the trip exhausted her. She asked me in a shaky voice "why is this happening to me?" All I could tell her was to get some rest and that she would feel better. A kiss from me on her forehead, "I love you mom" whispered into her ear, oxygen on, she fell asleep. That was my last time with Mom before she drifted off.

I love you Mom! I know you will finally have relief soon but I will miss you so much.


Amy said...

Oh Anne, prayers are with you and your family at this time.

Ellen Schildt said...

Anne, you know I am feeling so bad for you and your family right now. I wish there was a way to take your pain away, but, unfortunately, it is all a part of life! Your mom always enjoyed life and that is why she is questioning why this is happening to her. She doesn't want to leave, which speaks volumes about how she lived!!! Take comfort in that, and that when she has gone to heaven, she will be the best guardian angel EVER!!!! Hugs, Ellen

Martha Boltz said...

Dear Anne - I am so sorry to hear the news, talked to Abby just now and she told me -- I wish there were some words, some message, that would help but I do not know it. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, for you and for my old friend. I have tears in my eyes as I write this --it is so darn sad, and yet so inevitable. If I can do anything, please let me know. I am so glad you and Abby are friends -- that sort of completes the circle. Stay strong, and sweet, just like Marilyn.