Monday, September 24, 2012

Our Table

Today I went to The Comfy Cow in Westport Village for the first time since I took Mom there the week before she died.

I took this picture while waiting for my order today of the table where Mom and I sat...Mom in the chair on the right and me in the chair on the left.

I took this picture hoping that no one would notice that I was taking it.

I was thinking that I wish I had known that THAT last trip here on August 1, 2012 was going to be my LAST with Mom.

I wish I had had a more meaningful conversation with Mom that day.  There was no way for me to have known that that would be my last conversation with her.  And I guess she couldn't have really carried a full conversation at that point anyway.

I am thankful though, that I had that final moment (of 'clarity') with her.  We enjoyed one of our favorite things cream, I got to help her walk to the car, and I got to tuck her into her bed one last time, kiss her on her forehead and tell her I loved her.  I remember she told me I was so special and that she loved me.  She had a lot of love in her voice at that moment.  I knew then and still know now how much she loved Dad, Camille, and me.

I wish I could see a picture of Mom and me sitting at this table for the last time instead of the empty chairs.  I would give anything to have that moment back.

My trip to The Comfy Cow was to surprise my Dad with one of his favorite things...a chocolate malt.  Of course I got one for myself.

Time to start making NEW happy memories.  It's all part of healing.

Mom, I miss you everyday.

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