From Mom's Journal - October 14, 1979 - Sunday (age 42)

"For a while I was doing so well here at home. I even walked a mile one morning with Rosalie Eskind and had no problem with it. I had begun going back to Rehab & was doing well there too.

I went to the Rehab T-shirt party & had a good time - even drove myself. Linda tells me I have become an inspiration to a lot of other people. (I believe the "Linda" she is referring to here is Linda Hankla who was our family Hospice counselor. We all believed that Mom was not going to be with us for much longer.)

I do hope I have contributed something good to this world that will let me be remembered for a while.

I am now back to the situation of not being able to drive or do much of anything for myself. Hal has rented another wheelchair for me. When I had it before it was just for a short while until I got stronger but I am afraid that this down time is going to become permanent.

Dr. Trimbur tells me he feels that the grafts are probably closing again. Lucy is not encouraging either.(the grafts Mom is referring to are the veins that were used to bypass her clogged veins in her heart.)
Last Thursday she told me she thought I was trying to have an MI(**Myocardial Infarction). I have been staying very quiet. Hal stayed home from work Friday for he did not want me at home alone.

I have begun to have unstable angina again & SOB. Looking at my position objectively it does not look good for me at all. Hal & I had a long talk last Wed. night - he does think things are very bright. We agreed to do the best we can for as long as we can. We have had a very nice week-end.

Hal took me for a walk in my wheelchair today."

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**Myocardial infarction (MI) or acute myocardial infarction (AMI), commonly known as a heart attack, is the interruption of blood supply to a part of the heart, causing heart cells to die. This is most commonly due to occlusion (blockage) of a coronary artery following the rupture of a vulnerable atherosclerotic plaque, which is an unstable collection of lipids (fatty acids) and white blood cells (especially macrophages) in the wall of an artery. The resulting ischemia (restriction in blood supply) and oxygen shortage, if left untreated for a sufficient period of time, can cause damage or death (infarction) of heart muscle tissue (myocardium).
Source: Wikipedia