"My dear Lucy -
I am again in a period of thought that is very difficult for me and I will try to tell you about - because I would like some answers from you.
I find myself confused about my condition and my prognosis. I think sometimes that I am not really sick - am just fine and that is someone's idea of a joke. Then on the other hand maybe I do have something wrong with me but rather than telling me all about it you are making believe it is okay and if I work at it I will be."
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To me, it doesn't seem like Mom finished her note to Lucy.
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