Monday, January 4, 2010

Father or husband?


Several things have happened since my last post, I will keep this brief. December 13th our family said a final good-bye to my Aunt Nancy, my fathers sister. Mom and Dad flew down to Mobile Alabama (where Aunt Nancy lived) to see her before she died to say their good-byes. My sister, Camille, and I drove down to Mobile and met up with Mom and Dad a couple of days later. It was a bittersweet moment for all of us but we're so grateful that we got to see and talk to her before she passed away. Aunt Nancy knew she was dying. It was great to see our 4 cousins, her sons. It had been about 8 years since the last time we got to see each other. Other circumstances though would have been better.

After being back at home we began gathering for family Christmas functions. My cousin, Anne Stewart, hosted this years family dinner. Mom began telling the story of how we all drove down to Mobile to celebrate Christmas with Nancy and her boys (remember Mom and Dad flew down). Mom kept talking about how long the drive was. Then she said she was not aware that Nancy was going to die and she did not realize that she was saying a final good-bye when she visited Nancy in the hospital. Of course everyone knew what really happened...we try not to correct Mom on some things...it will only embarrass her.

Moms dementia seems to have taken another slip. Over the past week Dad has mentioned to me that her confusion is getting worse. More often she is convinced that Dad is HER father, not her husband. She also believes that their house is the house she grew up in. He told me he overheard Mom telling my Aunt Margaret (moms sister) on the phone that "mother isn't here right now, not sure when she will be back but Dadoo is here" and handed Dad the phone. My grandmother (moms mom) passed away over 30 years ago and my grandfather died before my grandmother. Dadoo is the nickname that Mom had given HER father when she was a little girl.

At this moment I'm awaiting a phone call from my father with more stories of moms confusion. Needless to say he is very worried and upset.

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